Por Luciana Pinsky
Um dia você vai morrer e não saberei. Ninguém vai me contar, porque entre você e eu não há ninguém. Nem na vertical, nem na horizontal, muito menos na transversal. E se eu morrer antes e você não souber? Sem problemas, já estarei morta mesmo…
Uma vez há muitos anos dançamos – um moço e eu – música lenta no meio do salão. Mas, repare, tocava punk rock dos pesados, todo mundo a mil e a gente lá, pertinho, em um ritmo todo nosso. Não era você, mas poderia ter sido, deveria ter sido, na verdade. Porque é isso a gente. Não importa nada, ninguém, entorno ou música. E nem, meu deus, o tempo. Como ousamos ignorar o Tempo?
Mas um dia o tempo virá até para nós. Você não responderá. Estranharei. Se fosse eu a não responder, você sumiria de vez. Amuado, se afastaria. Eu não. Sou insistente. Como estaremos nos comunicando até lá? Será telepatia? Já tentamos, mas ela causou certa confusão, nem sempre o enunciado chegava 100%, mas, cá para nós, nunca chega mesmo, não é?
Desculpe-me matá-lo assim, precocemente, mas sou previdente e gosto de me preparar. Pois bem, um dia você não me responderá. Mandarei uma mensagem, nada. Duas, nadinha. Três, bulhufas. Tentarei de tudo, até apelar para telefone. Cogitarei aparecer sem avisar, quem sabe? Levaria um tempo para reunir coragem. Meses, anos de ausência, talvez, até surgir na sua porta. Para descobrir, atônita, que você se foi sem a elegância de me avisar.
Perguntaria detalhes? (Quando? Nossa! Como? Uau! Por quê? É verdade…)
Choraria por você, então? Mas qual sentido em chorar por alguém morto há tanto tempo? A ver. Por ora, ainda duvido de sua morte e não me vejo plantada em sua porta. Ainda.
(Ilustração: Thomás Camargo Coutinho – http://www.flickr.com/photos/thomastaipa/)
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